WE GOT THE CALL!!

We are so excited to annouce that got THE call we've been waiting for!! We've been matched with a birthmom who is due in November!! We got the initial call on Monday that Miss A had picked our profile but they wanted to do a conference call before sending us the contracts. We had that call set up for Tuesday but she never did call in. At that point we weren't sure what was going to happen so we decided to be patient & see what happened. Well, today I got to talk with her very briefly & things are moving forward. We hope to take the time we've been given to get to know her a little better & we just are so excited to see what God has in store with Miss A!

We will be very vague with any information at this point but we are going to share a little suprise with you! For the last few weeks, I felt God tugging at my heart to open ourselves up more than what we were willing at first. Our original plan was to only be open to 1 gender(boy) since that would work best with our bedrooms. Well, we had seen our agency listing that they had a situation for an unknown gender. I had asked Brian about it but he was a little reluctant. I asked him if I could ask for her information & then see what happens. After a week, Brian said to send her our profile & she picked us!! So we have no idea what gender this child is but we are just as excited as we were before!! I just want to say that I admire my husband so much with being willing to do this. Not that I "got my way" but because he took the time to sit back & look at the bigger picture of why we set out on this journey in the first place. He is allowing God to make the decisions of what's best not only for us but what's best for this child!! I will forever respect the wonderful heart that he has! We know without a doubt that we will love this little boy or little girl no differently because of who he or she is!!

Please continue to pray for us as we make preparations for this baby & to continue to talk with Miss A during the remainder of her pregnancy. We also know that many things can change quickly & that it may end up being a painful thing to go through but we also know that everything is in God's hands & we give it all to Him!

Feeling Out of the Ordinary

I don't know if I can put my finger on why I feel this way alot lately. I've known for a long time that adopting transracially will make us different but it goes way deeper than just that. I've known that God would use this journey to mold & shape us for His glory but I couldn't imagine how much I see things differently now. I had always thought that I had a fairly compassionate heart but I now know that I wasn't even close! God is breaking my heart for what breaks His & I know there is no going back to being the same person that I was. There are so many people hurting in this world plagued by sin & there is so little that I've done to help those who are. I've heard the quote "I'd like to ask God why He allows such pain & hurting to those less fortunate but I'm afraid He might ask me the same thing"! Ouch! Reality check for my soul! What this means to me is that I can keep living my life the way we always have been or take a long look at what we can change to allow ourselves to help even more. This life isn't about us. It never has been. Never will be. We know Who it is about. But it certainly is not about me!

Happy Birthday Wyatt!

Happy Birthday to my oldest son, Wyatt! You are 7 years old today! I know I say this all the time but how in the world did this happen so fast? You are a 1st grader this year & loving school! You are a very intelligent boy & love learning. School seems to come very easy for you at this point. You are a daddy's boy & love to join in on any job he is working on. You also beg often to go hunting & fishing with your dad. Pestering Emma & Jackson is also becoming quite a hobby & you are quite good at it. We hate to admit that we do silently chuckle when you do! You really do have such a caring heart & you hate to see people hurt or left out. You love anything to do with sports, especially football. You know way more about the game than I ever will! I guess it's better that way. 2 more years before you can play league football seems WAY too long for you but it gives me some more time to get used to it. We love hearing you sing all the praise songs that you have learned in school and can't wait to see your child-like faith grow with you! We wish you many more birthdays & can't wait to see you grow into a fine young man!

Day 1 Complete

Today was our day to go help out at Mary's house! Luckily all the projects that we had hoped to do were planned for inside because it was raining so hard outside when we showed up! Our main focus was the garage. There was a wall in the garage that she wanted taken down to make it completely open. Before we knew it the wall was down & we were putting in insulation & putting the chipboard back up. 2 of us were priming the walls in the garage while the wall was being taken down. We were also lucky to have an electrician join us to help & he wired 3 new light fixtures in the kitchen, living room & bedroom. We also had 2 people sand, stain & varnish some woodwork around a few windows. All in all it was a great day & we got quite a bit done! We hope to go back another day soon to finish up some loose ends & actually paint the garage!

We want to thank Mary & her family for letting us do this project. We know that you probably want to thank us but we feel so rewarded for being the hands & feet of Jesus. We are humbled being able to help & give of our time in this way. We pray God's blessing on this sponsorship project & we can't wait to go back & help out some more! I don't have many pictures because we still have work to do but here are just a few!

Before wall was taken down

After

Light fixture put in & windows being done

Happy Birthday Jackson!

Our baby boy! When & how did you get to be 3 years old already?? It just doesn't seem possible. You were the perfect little boy that we needed after all the heartache we had 15 months earlier. The pregnancy to bring you into this world was 9 of the hardest months of my life. We loved you so much & couldn't imagine going through the same pain we did with your brother Dawson. At 8 1/2 weeks, we thought we had lost you too & my heart could hardly stand the pain. Nothing could have prepared us for the wonderful news from the ultrasound tech that you were still there & your heart was beating away & you were moving all around. God gave us the gift of hope that day through your beating heart. Even though we didn't really let ourselves believe that we would get to take you home, we had hope. When you were born, and healthy, we couldn't have given God more praise for this wonderful gift. I held you a little tighter & knew that I wasn't going to take a single second for granted. You have brought us so much joy & laughter in your 3 years! We can always count on your to make us laugh just when we need it. You adore your big sister Alexa & I know the feeling is mutual. You look up to your big brother Wyatt & you follow him around any chance you get. Emma has taught you many songs to sing & has even dressed you up as a girl from time to time. You are my cuddle bug & I LOVE it! I had always wanted a child who would wake up & need to snuggle before really waking up  & that is you! You LOVE food! We always joke that you don't share your food! If someone tries to sneak food off your plate, you let them know you are NOT happy! It makes us laugh! We know that with another little one coming, you will probably have the biggest adjustment but I also know you will be a great big brother. We hope that you will love being 3 & can't wait to see what else God has in store for you! We love you, Jackson Bradley!

Letter

This is the letter that we sent out to quite a few of our friends, family & church family but I thought that I'd also post it here for anyone else to read(and just in case some letters didn't make it to the addressed location). We are excited for this opportunity to help a widow, especially someone who we know personally. We hope & pray that we are a blessing to her during this project!



Dear family, church family & friends,



“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27

Most of you know that earlier this year, we felt God’s calling to add to our family and adopt. We decided after much research and prayer to adopt an African American baby boy from right here in the US. We have been praying for him and his birthmother for quite some time and we can’t wait to see what God has in store for us in the remainder of our journey to him.

Some of the reasons that we decided to adopt domestically was the huge need for families willing to accept children of a minority race, specifically African American. African American women are 3 times as likely to have an abortion when an unwanted pregnancy occurs. 32% of abortions performed in the US today are for African American women and that number is climbing. Also, approximately only 1 in 40 families who are willing to adopt are willing to accept full African American children. In the South, that number is more like 1 in 60. The women who have the courage to carry their babies to term are now faced with too few families willing to accept their children because of race. We want to show these women that they are making the right choice by giving their child the ultimate gift of life.

We are excited to open our home to another child but that hasn’t come without its challenges. The cost alone can be so overwhelming that a lot of people get no further than just looking into the process. We estimate with adoption fees, home study, travel, & legal fees that our costs will be around $25,000. So far we have been blessed to be able to raise $15,000 toward these expenses. We are so humbled that so many of you have already given of your time and money to bring our son home and we can’t thank you enough.


It’s difficult to put our pride aside and ask for even more help but we have decided to do another project that will not only benefit ourselves, but also someone else who needs assistance. This letter comes to you to ask for your sponsorship of this project. The idea behind this project is like a walk-a-thon. Only instead of sponsoring us to walk, you will be sponsoring us while we help a woman from our church who was recently widowed. The verse we have quoted above talks about caring for the widow and the orphan and this project joins both of those efforts. This project is going to take place on Sept. 25, 2010. We will be trimming trees, painting the garage floor and making a toy room downstairs for the grandkids. We love the idea of being able to raise money for our adoption and also help someone else in return and we pray that God will bless this project.

So we come to you with 2 requests.

1.) We ask for your prayers. These have been essential in our process and we thank all of you who have already been praying us through. We ask you to continue to pray God’s blessing on this journey and for our future birth family. Also, please pray for His blessing in this project and that we may be a blessing to this widow.


2.) We ask that if you feel led that you would consider supporting us financially by making a tax deductible donation to help us cover the remaining costs.

Our church has been kind enough to help us with this. If you would like to be a part of this sponsorship, you can send your tax deductible gift between now and October 20, 2010 to the address below with a note stating it is for the Gulker adoption fund. Make checks payable to Bethel CRC and send to:

Bethel Christian Reformed Church
341 South Main Ave.
Sioux Center, IA 51250

You may follow along on the remainder of our adoption journey at our blog: www.onlybygodsgracegulker.blogspot.com



Brian & Melissa Gulker

So What Do You Do....

...when your husband has to be out of town all week for work?? I don't know about you but I managed to pack this week so full of things that I don't know how I'm going to pull it all off. Why do I do this to myself?? I guess I really can't answer that question but all I can do now is just try to be as organized as possible & try to survive. It's easy, quick meals & making lists a mile long for each day so that I don't forget things! In fact, this Wednesday is school pictures & I'm bound & determined to NOT forget this year! Yes, last year, I totally forgot about Emma's school pictures & then when I finally remembered later in the day, I had that moment of sheer panic because I couldn't remember what she looked like as I sent her off to school that day. I let out a huge sigh of relief to see that she didn't head off to school with some crazy hair style, which she's been known to do from time to time. She wasn't dressed in her best nor did she have her hair done like I would have wanted, she looked just like she did any other day. But this year I hope will be different! At least with Wyatt's extremely short hair, I don't have to worry too much there! HA! So I have several meetings for the school soup supper to lead, work, homecoming for Alexa, our sponsorship/fundraising project to prepare for & my 2 boys' birthdays to make special & prepare treats for! I guess that means that I should get off the computer & go to bed to rest up now! I'm gonna need it!

I Don't Need to Write My Own Blog Post....

...when people like this do it so well for me. As we are approaching 1 of our last projects in order to raise the remaining funds needed to complete this adoption, I encourage you read this. We have talked & heard from some people that not everyone agrees with fundraising for an adoption. That it is a personal family choice. While agree that if someone wants it to be that way, that is absolutely fine. Not everyone is called to this journey in the same light. We started out our journey with the same thinking. When we found out that the fees & costs were going to be WAY higher than we originally thought, we knew we could not do this alone. Please go to the following link & read HERE.

I can't wait to share the progress of our next project which is scheduled to be happening next Saturday, September 25!! 

Families Needed!

Our agency is looking for homestudy ready families to present for a situation for a full African American baby girl. She is due soon & families that are interested are asked to contact Mother Goose Adoptions at
480-626-4900. You can also email them at info@mothergooseadoptions.com . They are great about returning emails!

Huge Success

We are done with our garage sale & it went so well! We had an amount in our head of what would make all that work worth it & we exceeded it by far! We are so humbled by the generosity of those who donated all sorts of items & baked goods.  We would like to thank Gwen, Tammy, Jessica & Jeremy for helping by keeping me company at the sale or helping to clean up. We couldn't have done it without you!  We were able to donate most of the leftovers to a couple of our local charities & we were able to sneak the baked goods to the people who were shingling our neighbors house. We had so many people give us kind words of encouragement & offered their prayers for the remainder of this journey. God is so good!

And Back Down Again

Another situation that didn't work out. There was some information that wasn't correct & today we had to make another decision not to back out. We are doing fine with it. I have never been more convinced that this is all part of God's plan. He is molding & shaping us through all the ups & downs. I have no choice but to trust that He knows what is best.

Jeremiah 29:11


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Garage Sale

It's here! Garage sale weekend has arrived & I can honestly say that I barely survived the preparations. I would much rather serve our dinner parties for 20 people than to do this garage sale again. I understand why people do them but the prep work is more than I care for. So please call & put us out of our misery & let us serve you a wonderful rib supper.

Also, there has been some activity going on with our adoption process & we ask for you to be on your knees for us during the next few days. We aren't at a point to go any further with info but just know that God hears the prayers of His people & we could use them on our behalf. I will update when I can!

Almost Ready

We've been so busy with getting ready for our garage sale & bake sale that will be held this coming Thursday-Saturday. We have been overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that we've been blessed with & our garage is getting full! Thank you to all who have already brought items & are still bringing them. I can say that not having experience with doing garage sales that getting the garage ready & organizing stuff is a little difficult. I know so many who have done so many of these that they have it down to a science. Well, not this woman! But I can say that it looks like any other garage during these sales so I think we did good. Now just praying that the rain holds off. I tend to attract crappy weather so pray that the rain stays away. If it ends up being cold, I may just sell coffee & hot chocolate by the cup!!

No news on the adoption front. Back to waiting aimlessly. As you could tell from my previous post, it's been a tough week of waiting. We know that God already knows who our son is but no matter how much I tell myself that I want to know who he is NOW! That doesn't mean that I haven't seen some good come out of our waiting period. After hearing about such a need & how fast it can go, you kind of expect it to go really fast. I just keep praying for patience & to find a purpose in the waiting. It's hard to just go on living life normally when our hope is to get that phone call any day. I ache for my son to be in my arms, to have him here at home & loved on by his brothers & sisters who can't wait for him to be here. It's hard to explain to them that we have no clue when he will be here.

But our hope & trust is put in God throughout this whole process. He brought us here to this point & He will carry us through.