Join me in saying a prayer & praising God!

I know! 2 posts in 2 days! I think that's a new record for this year! But it's all for a good reason! I'm asking all my prayer warriors (I know that there might not be so many of you left reading here anymore!) to pray for a dear family that is near & dear to our hearts! They have been in a long, long (too long) battle to get their 2 kids home from Guatemala! There have been many tears along the
7 years to get R & J home and many ups & downs. The bottom line through all of this is that these 2 NEED to come home! They NEED to come home now! I am so proud to call this family friends of ours & I am so amazed at their committment to their children, here and far. Please join me in flooding the gates of heaven to pray these 2 home . There is hope & I truly believe that these 2 will come home! I know it will be a joyful celebration when these 2 finally make it to their forever home & be welcomed into their church family here!

Yeah...things are pretty busy

I can't even begin to describe how busy things have been around here. School has started, projects have been going on, and football is in full swing. I've enjoyed getting into a routine but it hasn't come without it's challenges. Here's a short update on each of the kids!

Alexa is taking some colleges classes and dance is also in full swing so she's been pretty busy. I almost have no idea when she's coming or going. I guess I'm getting a glimpse of what life will be like with her next year after high school. She was chosen at a dance camp in June to able to perform at 2 bowl games and the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. After much hard work to raise the money, she has chosen to dance at the Capital One Bowl in Orlando on January 1. I will be going with her & this will be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her.

Emma is in the 6th grade and of course as social as ever! She is still taking piano and has been practicing before school for Opus auditions(singing). She has those tryouts later this week. She is also going to run in her first cross country meet next week.

Wyatt is in 3rd grade already. He started football in August & has played his first game. This boy has been anxiously waiting to be able to play for a long time so this has been so much fun for him. He has played several positions but mainly plays quarterback. That has also been a dream for him so he was so excited when he got to do that. He has also started playing cello this year.

Jackson just started preschool this past week and is just loving it!! He has really grown up in the past few months and we hope preschool will be good for him. He goes 3 mornings a week when I'm at work so I still get my little boy home with me on my days off. Of course this little boy still makes us laugh all the time!

Charlie is just shy of 18 months and growing up so quickly! He is starting to really talk up a storm & his personality is just really starting to blossom. He has been missing his older siblings though. He seems to be quite a bit more clingy & wants to be held more often. He really loves his Emma right now and much to my sadness, he has at times chosen her over me! :( I need to do something about that, I think!

Well, that's a condensed version of stuff that's been going on here. There is much, much more but this post would get WAY too long if I put everything in here! Oh! And we got family pictures done so I got to change our blog photo! I know I may be biased but I think we have 5 amazingly beautiful children!

My Feelings on Open Adoption

First off, I'm adding the disclaimer right at the beginning that most of these feelings and opinions come from what I've experienced and what I've talked with others about. I know that nothing about adoption or open adoption is ever the same and that you will not have a cookie cutter situation. I also know that not every situation can or should be open and that most of the time you have to just "wing it".

I honestly have to say that from the beginning of the adoption process, I had the secret feeling that everything would be easier if we would get a phone call from an agency that a baby had been left at the hospital & there was no interest in an open adoption. This baby would just be ours & ours only & I didn't have the desire to "share" our child with his/her first family. We said that we would keep our options open but still secretly hoped for only contact through the agency and thought that meeting any potential birth family was just too nerve wracking. Man! Did God do a major 360 degree turn on my heart during our process!  I started doing research on open adoptions and what some of the pros & cons were. Yes there were times where I'd find stories that would scare me or make me leery of opening ourselves up to more heartache.

But what I found more & more was that given the right situation & circumstances, it could be a huge blessing to not only the birth families but also to the child. Some question whether or not it would be confusing to the child on who the parents are. Some have also questioned whether it would just be too hard for the birth families to see the child, either in person or in pictures and therefore make the grieving process harder. Others have even said that because a birth parent places a child for adoption, that it means they don't love the child and shouldn't be allowed to know anything about how the child is doing.

The fact is, adoption has changed dramatically in the last 15-20 years. Research has shown that relationships with birth parents have given adopted children that "missing piece" to their heritage and questions that adopted children have about their birth families can be answered. Open adoption can also be helpful in giving birth families reassurance in their decision when they see the child they placed happy and loved. Questions about birth families health also can be answered.

But most of the time, success in an open adoption is communication between birth and adoptive families and knowing where the boundaries are. I know that sometimes this can be very tricky and that problems have occurred. Either party can be guilty of not doing what they said they would do or changes to that agreement need to be made. Whatever the circumstance, the most important person to consider is ALWAYS the child & if this relationship would be in his/her best interests. It certainly isn't always the case.

Our open adoption hasn't gone exactly like I thought it would. We had an agreement set at the hospital before Charlie's birthmom was discharged and we really thought that things would go as planned. Well, that hasn't been the case. We didn't hear anything from her like we had talked about but we still held up our end of the agreement. We understood that we really had no idea what she was going through and that if/when the time was right, we would hear from her. We told her this in every update we sent. I did mourn that fact that our relationship wasn't everything that I thought it would be. I prayed & thought about her everyday. Since Charlie's birthday, we've contact with her off and on & I can't even begin to tell you how awesome it is to have that. I've said before just how awesome I think Miss A is and her courage just blows me away. We've been able to work through some things together & I know without a doubt just how much she loves Charlie. I just hope & pray that through knowing us, she understands the love of God & just how much He loves her.

Seventeen

Guess I'm just resorting to posting every so often! But today is a good reason to post! Alexa turned 17 today! I can't believe she is that old already! It seems so odd to me that 17 years ago, I myself, was 17 years old & holding her for the first time. Why does it seem like just like yesterday I was holding this precious little girl & wondering what the future held for both us? I could never have imagined being so blessed to be her mom & seeing what a beautiful young woman she has become. Right now, she is holding down 2 jobs for the summer, just got done with soccer & is already looking forward to being drill team captain for next year. She is also taking several college classes next year so she can get a jump start on her college credits. Also very proud of her for getting a 4.0 GPA this past semester. I still wonder sometimes how she juggles it all but she does! We are so excited to see what God has in store for you this next year, Alexa!

A Little TLC

That's what Charlie has been in need of this past week. So much so that he decided that he needed a short stay in the hospital just to get enough of that TLC!! We had Charlie's well-child check on Tuesday afternoon & everything looked great. No worries, no concerns. Wednesday morning his nose was running a ton but he was acting fine. By Wednesday afternoon, I thought he was getting a whopper of a cold so I stayed home with him while the rest of the family did the church night activites. Charlie was up tossing and turning all night and was coughing much more than he had. I gave him a nebulizer treatment that morning and laid him down for an early nap. When he woke up, he was having trouble breathing & I could hear him wheezing. I decided to call the doctor and thought I should just have him looked at but was really thinking they would just tell me it was just a cold. We got there & they listened to his lungs and took his oxygen levels. In 10 minutes they had us over in the ER to get some oxygen and start the tests going to see what was going on. After 2 blood tests, chest x-rays and an RSV test, they decided to admit him for pneumonia. His white cell count was pretty high & his oxygen levels kept dipping down at times. I was so glad that our regular doctor was in the ER that day!! She wanted him on IV antibiotics and fluids since he was also dehydrated. I stayed with him in the hospital while Brian bopped in & out so that he could be with the other kids. By Friday morning, he was doing so much better! He started having smiles for us again & his oxygen levels had stayed up while he slept so we were good to go home. His white cell count wasn't as far down as our doctor had wanted so we did have to do 1 more round of IV antibiotics before we went home & now he is on low dose medicine for the next week. We also have to do his breathing treatments 4 times a day for the next week or so. Charlie was so happy to be home & went right for his toys & started playing. He gave us quite the scare with how fast he got sick in a short amount of time! We are so glad to have our happy Charlie back!! Here's a picture of him on Thursday having 1 of his treatments. Not that I want him in 1 anytime soon but he did look kinda cute in the little hospital gown!

He's Two Wheeling It!

Many of you on Facebook have seen this video again but I'm sharing it here too. Charlie has just taken off with walking & I'm sure he will be running soon! Just what I need! Being outrun by Jackson & Charlie! Oh, and don't mind the saggy diaper! This was right before bedtime & I didn't want to spoil his good mood to change him!

What?!?! People Still Read This?

I really don't know if I have anyone still reading here. It's not because I don't have things to write about but you need something called time to still type and that is few and far between these days. We went straight from AAU volleyball with Emma to soccer season for the 3 oldest kids. These schedules are brutal and there are a couple weeks where we will only have 1 night at home. I guess I better get good at packing sub sandwiches. I also need to build up my arsenal of things to keep the kids occupied during the longer games. Everything is fine if the weather cooperates but we all know that spring weather in Iowa can be unpredictable. I thought movies would do the trick but my older boys were soon trying to play ninjas in the way back of the van before the movie even started playing. Yeah, you are correct......that didn't end well.

About a week before Charlie's birthday, we got the chance to talk with Miss A on the phone!! I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it was to talk to her. She is just as wonderful as we remember her and we have since talked several times on the phone. She loves Charlie so much and cares very deeply for him. I ask for your prayers on this relationship that we are starting. I can see so much potential for this to be such a blessing on both our ends but we also know that things can be tricky navigating this part of the process. We just pray that God blesses our new relationship and that we can live out a Christ-like example to her.

Well, I know very well that I could be writing this strictly to myself by now but I really do want update more often. All the kids are growing up so fast & I'd love to have some of our life experiences documented here. Until next time!!

Happy Birthday Charlie Jace Asanti Gulker!!!

1 Year ago, our lives were blessed by your entrance into this world, Charlie Jace!! I can remember almost every detail of that day like it was yesterday. I remember sitting anxiously in the hospital lobby by the water fountain, waiting for any kind of news. Our caseworker, Michelle, showed up & said we could go up. She then got a text & gave us the news that you were born!! You weighed 6 lbs 7 oz & were 18.5 inches long! I couldn't even imagine how tiny you were! We followed Michelle up the steps & started zigzagging through the hallways. We had no idea where we were & then we turned the corner. I'm sure time stopped for me for a few moments & then things moved in slow motion until we were right by your side. You were in the bassinet right next to the window & we just fell in love instantly! I wanted to scoop you up & hold you forever! We got to stay in the nursery for a while & got to feed you your first bottle. Your daddy tried to tell me not to get attached but I knew at that moment, I was looking at my son & the love was instant. We tried the many different names we had talked about & you were a Charlie right from the beginning. We marveled at how God had formed you so perfectly & we were amazed how wonderful His ways are! He knit you together in your first momma's womb because you, Charlie Jace, are fearfully & wonderfully made! He set you in our family & we couldn't feel more blessed to be your parents!

Where I Was

1 year ago, we were on our way to where Charlie was going to be born. I have been so sentimental lately. I seriously can't believe he's going to be 1 already! Tonight I had the wonderful pleasure of talking with the woman who gave Charlie life. It was so great to hear from her & I'm sure it was the first of many phone calls to come. She loves Charlie so much & I'm so grateful that he will know that. Only 3 more days till Charlie's birthday & I'm sure to be a mess. We are so blessed to have him in our lives & I can't wait to celebrate him!

I'm Procrastinating

Isn't bad that i'm typing a blog post just to get out of folding the 3-4 loads of laundry sitting next to me?? I can complain about never getting anything done anymore but I know I can play just as big of a role in that too. Charlie is taking a nap & Jackson is playing a new game on his Nintendo DS. I'm now sitting at my computer, sipping my coffee and now typing this post.

I have been finding it difficult to manage my time lately. This has been made more evident when I'm doing my Bible study about God wanting all of me and not just a small part of me. I know this to be true but I have been failing miserably. I make the excuses of wanting "me" time when it seems like all day I have 5 others who want "my" time. It hasn't helped that Charlie has been sick with a nasty cold & I think I literally held him for 7 days straight! He's now doing better but he found it quite nice to ride on my hip the entire day so he follows me around until I put him in his favorite spot, my arms. Ok, I guess a part of me loves that he wants to be near me constantly! He loves his momma and the feeling is very mutual!

Back to prioritizing my time! I need to do it. I need to shut out all other distractions. TV, computer, phones, etc. Anyone have any good ways to keep myself accountable?

Reminiscing

Today was 1 year ago that we received THE phone call Charlie's birthmom had chosen us & she was due in a couple of weeks. We were on our way to get our fingerprints re-done since they expire after 1 year. I was very frustrated with the whole adoption process at this point & really questioning what God had in store for us. We knew that there were 2 birthmom's that were sent our profile that week but we knew it could be a while before we heard anything. It came as a total shock to me when I saw the number show up on my phone! Miss A had gotten our profile book that morning & we got the call just a couple hours later. She said she just knew it was us. When I answered the phone, we were only a couple of miles away from where we needed to be & Alexa was in the car with us. Brian & I had agreed after our failed adoption that we were going to keep our next situation to ourselves as much as possible. With her in the car, I was trying to get as much info as possible from the agency & tell Brian that we were chosen without Alexa knowing. Yeah, that didn't work. She caught on right away but we told her that she had just wanted to talk to us first. I'm still surprised they got my prints without getting smudged because my hands were shaking so bad! I was excited & scared out of my mind all at the same time. I didn't want to get my hopes up like last time but we also had a better feeling from the beginning this time around. The next 3 weeks were a major roller coaster but we all know how it ends. with a beautiful little boy, Charlie Jace, who will forever be our son!

Picture Post

So what's been going on here? Everything & nothing all at the same time. It seems like the days have blurred together & I can't even remember which day had what in it anymore. Here's a really quick update on everyone.

Alexa- She's as busy as every. Still working at Subway, being drill team captain & also has started soccer conditioning. I know she's really excited for soccer season but this momma is not quite so sure. It's brutal with us at games 5-6 times a week. Let's just pray for a very, very nice spring!! We've just started looking at the whole college thing & to say that freaks me out is an understatement. Is it wrong of me to secretly hope she totally bombs her ACT's so that no college will take her?? Just kidding! I know she'll do fine & any college will be lucky to have her. Let's just hope it not too far from home!

Emma- Tomorrow is a day that Emma's been waiting for, for a long time! AAU volleyball starts!! This is her first year & she just can't wait for it. It will be 8 weeks every Saturday so that does make things nuts but we do enjoy watching volleyball. Time will tell how Jackson & Charlie will do with it! Wish us luck!

Wyatt- He's all about ice fishing right now. Think he's like his father much?? Add in a little Sports Center & he's as happy as ever! I really don't know another 8 year old boy that likes basketball & football as much as he does. Unfortunately, college football is done & his Packers are done so the Super Bowl won't be as much fun for him. At least he thinks he's so good at fishing that he thinks he can give pointers to his dad & uncle to become better fishermen. He is for sure a Gulker!!

Jackson- Don't even know where to start with this one! Jackson is just Jackson. Funny & aggravating all at the same time. I do love this little boy so much & life would be so much more dull without him but he is 1 busy four year old!! Preschool next year will be great for this kid. He is really starting to teach Charlie to do some things & it is so precious. I would like to know if anyone has any tips on getting this boy to stop taking the wheels off of any toy vehicle we have! It drives me nuts!

Charlie- We are off to the ENT with Charlie in about 10 days. 4-5 ear infections in 4 months is enough for me! He is such a happy little boy & loves his sleep so when he doesn't sleep well, we know something isn't right. I hope that if we need to do tubes that it works! He is just growing & learning so fast! He is crawling all over & is standing up by everything. He is also walking along all the furniture & we've caught him standing next to things & letting go. He really is so laid back that I really didn't expect him to be doing this already. I was fully expecting him to be a late walker but he does have 4 older siblings to keep up with. This has also caused us to baby proof in a hurry. What kid doesn't love to play in the toilet?? Yuck!!

Ok, that's all the time I got right now! This is all ya get for an update!!!

Never Thought It Would Affect Me This Way

Yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr Day. While I've studied in history class about him & what he stood for, I don't know if I ever took the time to realize what his movement back in in 1963 would mean to my life and my family. I truly believe that without the civil rights movement that he started, transracial adoption would not be as accepted as it is today. It would not be okay for a white family to adopt a black child. I can't even think about not having Charlie in our lives. He is our son, grandson, brother, nephew & cousin. He is not defined by the color of skin. He is a child of God just like every person on this earth.


"I have a dream . . . that one day little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sister and brothers." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The dream is alive, Dr. King

No Words Just Pictures

Sorry! No Tasty Tuesday!

I hope to post a "Whatcha Eating Wednesday" but no Tasty Tuesday since I'm just getting over the stomach flu & most food is still making my stomach turn. Great diet plan but I'd rather lose weight the old fashioned way. Just praying that no one else gets it now! That is 1 drawback of a large family. Germs have a hay day in our house just picking us off one by one. Thankful that I have a mother in law who graciously took the boys yesterday so I could rest. Nothing like chasing a very mobile 9 month old and a 4 year old like Jackson when you hurt everywhere and are praying to the porcelain king.

I have several posts in the works but I've been taking my little free time to catch up on my Bible study that I started but missed the first 2 sessions already. I need to get back to making that a priority in my daily life and somethings will just have to be put on the back burner.

It Was a Very Good Year

2011 as a whole, was a very good year. It had a very rough start to it with dealing with our failed adoption and figuring out where God wanted us to go with our adoption process. Then we were blessed with Charlie in March. He is by far the biggest new blessing in our lives this year. We just can't imagine life without him in it. We also feel a huge blessing with the stability of our jobs and we know just how blessed we are to have a wonderful home to raise our kids in.

2012 has a lot to live up to!! Wishing you all the best in the coming year!