Tip Night

Our friends and family have been kind enough to help us with a Pizza Ranch Tip Night! We will be doing this on Tuesday, May 11 from 5-8. We will be bussing tables, washing dishes, serving dessert pizzas, refilling glasses, and other various jobs for tips. This is a great fundraiser and the Pizza Ranch is willing to donate a portion of the sales during this time. We understand this is a very busy time of year for everyone so just having a night where you can come, eat, & let us serve you will be just what you need. If anyone needs an excuse not to cook for a night, this is it! There is a concert at SCCS that night for grades 5-8 but come and enjoy some pizza before the concert! There will be a tip bucket there and any checks can be made out to Bethel CRC.

Still waiting on fingerprints!! We are going to make a phone call today if they didn't come to see how much longer. This is the only thing holding us up right now. We want this homestudy so that we can apply for a couple of grants that will be having meetings soon & we want to get this in before that. Our profile is all but finished. I'm still working on editing the little things. At some point I just have to click order & be done with it! I bought some crib bedding this weekend that matches the boys' bedding perfectly so we will be working on getting the crib up & ready as soon as it's painted. We did finally have the discussion on whether or not to specify gender. I struggled with doing this since we know that ultimately God is in control of what's best for us but there are some regulations on having opposite genders in the same room and since we only have 1 other bedroom upstairs besides ours, it only makes sense that we specify boy since our boys are already up here. So we will be expecting a boy!! We are excited to see what little guy God has planned for our family!

I Can See the Finish Line!!

It's so hard to believe but we are almost ready to be "waiting"!! I can tell you I'm a pile of nerves here! I know it could be a while before we get a call but we really have no idea what God has in store for us. I have no idea how things will work for us with 4 kids to have to leave on short notice, if we aren't matched until the last minute. There is no real way to plan except to make lists & buy what we need when we know how/when things will happen. Yes, I have been daydreaming how it may happen but so many of the situations could be different. So we just keep an open mind & enjoy the ride that God has in store for us. We've seen the many blessings God has given us by being obedient. The valleys aren't much fun at all but we can definitely appreciate getting back to the hilltops after a long trek up those hills! The view is grand!!

We are putting the finishing touches on our profile book! It turned out great! It was a lot of work to get it all mapped out but after I got into it, I really started to enjoy it. The birth family letter was the hardest. It was extremely emotional thinking of the words to write to someone who is in a very tough position & has to make 1 of the hardest decisions in her life.

I know it's kind of trashy but I've been hooked on watching "16 & Pregnant" on MTV. I seriously HATE that channel but 1 day I was looking at the TV Guide & it caught my eye & it just happened to be on just then. So I decided to watch but was thinking that they were going to glorify teen pregnancy. Quite the opposite. It's very real & they show a lot of the tough aspects of becoming a mother at a very early age. Now,don't get me wrong.  I still think they edit things for sensationalism. But last night Brian actually watched some of it with me. He got to watch the episode where the couple decide on placing their child for adoption. It was heart wrenching & the pain & loss by the birth parents was gripping to my heart. In adoption, there is always going to be loss of some sort. We know that we will gain a child but our child will experience some type of loss. The birth parents will grieve loss. It's not something that we like to think about when we hear or talk of adoption. We want to view it as this wonderful, happy thing. As wonderful as it is that we can welcome a child into a Christian home that normally would not have that chance, there will still be a part of us that will grieve that loss of birth family. Our prayer is that God will give us the grace we need to handle that aspect with a birthmother, if given the chance to meet her, & for the loss that we will have to deal with in the future with our adopted child.

I needed to also send out a prayer of praise for our friends, the Zomermaands!! They are now legal guardians of their 2 children that they have been trying to get home from Guatemala for the last 4 1/2 years! They are in Guatemala this week visiting their children & having an empathy study done. This is 1 of the last steps they need to be able to get these 2 home where they belong! We are praising God for moving the huge mountains & we can't wait to see what God has in store for the remainder of this journey!

The Darn Money Thing

We've had a few questions lately on money & how much we need to raise. As I've said before, our costs have increased significantly since we've had to switch agencies. We also had a pretty good amount set aside to get things going from a pretty nice tax refund. That being said, we still have a ways to go. We are applying for 3 grants that we know of right now. I'm still looking to see if there are any others that we would qualify for. There are some nice organizations out there but we don't qualify for all of them.

We have a couple of suppers booked & a couple more people that we've talked to about booking some more. We have also tossed around the idea of doing a Pizza Ranch tip night. I don't know much about it but if anyone has any experience in whether it was worth it or not, feel free to email or call us.

The amount we need is not set in stone since every situation with a birthmom could be different. Where & how long we have to travel could play a factor also. Our agency is in Georgia but they do sometimes have referrals from different states so we just really don't know. Our best guess right now is that we will need to raise around $10,000. I hate that adoption has to even have that kind of price tag but it does so we need to just trust that God will help us find the avenues necessary to get us to that point. We REALLY don't want to go into debt to complete this process since we've worked so hard to get ourselves out and it's been the only thing that's kept our heads above water through all the paycuts and slumping sales with Brian's job. Total providence!

If anyone has any other ideas of fundraisers that don't take too much prep time, we are open to that. Oh yeah, don't mention anything crafty to sell. I stink at anything that crafty or creative! Please continue to pray for us as we finish up our paper portion of things and that we will soon have a way to raise the remainder of the money! It is very humbling to take this kind of leap of faith without knowing what totally lies ahead for us.

Long Week

This has been a LONG week! It's been pretty good but very tiring! Brian left last week for meetings in Chicago. He came home for about 12 hours on Wed night and left again to go turkey hunting in Kansas with some family. He's gone on this trip for a few years and I really don't mind that he goes. I still don't mind if he goes but if it ever falls on the same week as his regional meetings again, I might have to pull in some reinforcements, like a live in nanny! Between 4 kids, 5 soccer games(2 of them are today), working a little extra to try to put some in our adoption fund, trying to get our profile book a long ways, filling out grant applications, and Alexa having a few friends over Friday night, this momma is pooped! I am so glad that I have the day off from work so that I can spot clean in the house, catch up on laundry, and go to 2 remaining soccer games today. Then it's off to hang with the Gulker women(minus Chellie) for the evening, with just the women!

All this to say, I can't wait to have my hubby home tomorrow to give me a little bit of a break. The kids are missing him and honestly, so am I. I don't know if we'll let him leave anytime soon!

Tomorrow, we are celebrating my Grandma Grooters 89th birthday! We are so fortunate to be able to have her here with us and we are so glad that we can take the day to celebrate with her.

Well, I'm off to try to catch up this morning! Hope you all enjoy this sunny Saturday!

Our Direction is Decided

After doing some searching for our new direction as far as agencies is concerned, we have found one that we have fallen in love with. Our new agency will be Hope for Adoption in Canton, GA. Yes, it's ironic that both of the agencies that we have really liked happen to be in the same state and that's not what we set out to do. After talking with a caseworker there, we feel so comfortable with them. She has answered all the questions that we have given her & they are also in need of families. We have always been aware that because we already ahve 4 children, that we may not appeal to some birthmoms but it only takes 1. It is already very humbling to know that God already knows our next child. He knows when and He knows who. It brings us such comfort in so many of the unknowns that He has everything all worked out, even in the times of our uncertainty. We are currently working on our profile book. Um, anyone want to volunteer to do this for me?? Yes, this is very difficult. We want to be real with how our lives are without scaring her off   being fake. So there will be pictures of our son covered from head to toe in spagetti sauce, cake or pudding. We want our lives to seem full but not too full so that we don't give the impression that there isn't room for another child in our schedules. We also have to write a birthmother letter which is also hard. How in the world can you sum up in words how you feel about someone without knowing her? I know what our hopes & dreams are for our relationship with her but we have no idea if that will ever happen & what kind of circumstance we are looking at. So again, it's back to trying to be as real as possible without over promising anything. Just pray for us that the right words & the right portrayal of our family comes easier than it is right now. Can't wait to update everyone on when we are officially paper ready!!

Happy Anniversary!!

To my wonderful husband on our anniversary!

I can't believe it's been 11 years ago that we stood in front of that church in front our friends & family & said our vows. We have been through so much in our marriage that many will never have to endure but we've also had the strength to use those trials to grow our marriage to become stronger. I appreciate all the times you've put up with me when I was less than the wonderful wife you deserve. I also hate love the way you make me laugh, even when I REALLY don't want to. We seem to have so much fun doing even the most mundane things, like walking through Lowe's, dreaming of our next home improvement project. I love the way that our kids adore you, even that teenage daughter of ours. We are so lucky to have you in our lives. I know that in the decisions that you make, you take the utmost care to think about how it will involve us as a family & what will be best. I know that your faith in God will always be strong & that faith will be passed on to our children.

I hope that we can always take this day to remember the reasons that we got married in the first place & to take a look back at how we've grown as a couple. I know there are still many areas that we can improve & work on but no one said this marriage thing would be easy! So on those days that are less than great, always remember that when it comes down to it, I really do love you & will always be here because I promised that I would!

Yet Another Direction

Shortly after being thrilled today to finish up our last piece of paperwork and feeling like we got over a huge hurdle of being done with our homestudy, we got an email from the agency that we were hoping to use. They stated that they had been flooded with interest and many families coming forward. With all this, they decided they would no longer accept out of state families. While I understand their reasoning behind it & I'm glad they didn't waste any more of our time, we are still extremely disappointed. I was starting to get this impression from them last week when I had sent a couple of emails to them and the response I was getting was a little questionable. So last week I started to look at a couple of other options just in case something was going on that we weren't aware of. We have found a couple of agencies that we really did like so we are exploring those options. The biggest problem with doing this switch is the issue of money. I hate that money has to even be a factor in making this kind of decision but it does. No matter what our next option is, it's going to cost us a lot more than we originally thought. Oddly enough, we are still at peace with it. We know that everything that happened today was not a suprise to God & He has this all in His control. We just need to be open to His will & it will all come together in His perfect time.

I'll keep you posted on what happens from here. We have some time before our fingerprints come back. That gives us some time to work some of these details out. Just keep us in your prayers that the right path becomes obvious.

Being Content

This post is going to be a hard one for me to write. Probably because it's going show a weak point of mine and really, who likes to admit to that?

"Content-satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else." How often can we say that we do this? How often do we say "If only I had ___, then I will be content"?? How many times have we justified buying something that was beyond our means just because we wanted to & didn't really need it?


I Timothy 6:6-7-"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

Matthew 6:19-21-"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be."

I have often lost sight of what we have been put on this earth for. My selfishness can often get in the way & Satan has done a wonderful job of lying & convincing me that I need a particular something so that I will then be content. What is it with "stuff" that causes us to lose our focus on what our goal is in this life?

This is really not a plug for Dave Ramsey because even if you ask my husband, there is a part of me that still loathes him! In fact, I'm sure Brian would tell you that I didn't go down without a fight in my REALLY not wanting to have anything to do with what Dave had to say. But we modified the program to fit us & just made an overhaul in how we view money. Now that's not to say that we haven't fallen off the cliff at times but for the most part, we've adapted the mentality of just not buying anything unless we have the cash for it. This isn't supposed to be a big pat on our backs for a job well done. My point is this. It has given us the opportunity to look at what is really important to us. What do we want to do with this precious gift that God has given us called "life"? Do we want more & more things & more & more money?? Or do we want to be content with the blessings God has already given us?  We will enter this world & exit this world with the same amount of nothing so why are we so preoccupied with getting as much money & stuff in the middle?
Believe me, I've tried lying to myself to tell myself that if I could only get the furniture that I want or the vehicle that I want, then it will all be better.

So how do we overcome this kind of thinking? One Bible passage says it all!

Colossions 3:1-4-"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

Saturday Happenings

I just spent the day shopping with my girls! We had a blast & got most of what we needed for the spring/summer season, at least for Alexa. Just spending time with my girls was the best part. It's nice to just have a relaxing day out with them!

Tonight we are off to spend time with the extended Gulker family!! So excited to see everyone! We are meeting in Hull to go bowling & eat at the bowling alley! It's been 1 1/2 yrs since Grandma Nellie has been gone & we still miss her so much. Every trip to Walmart that I make, I remember how we would quick stop by her house to check in with her & the kids always looked forward to sneaking a cookie from her! There is so much about her that we miss but she certainly left a legacy behind with all her children & grandchildren.

Fingerprints for Brian & Alexa was a no go yesterday. We called ahead & they said to come on over. Right when they got to the sheriff's office, someone had just turned themselves in so they were busy processing that person. It was going to be about 45 minutes before they would be allowed back there & since we had church last night, they couldn't wait around for that. They will try again on Monday & then that should be it for homestudy paperwork!! YAY!! It could take a couple of weeks to get the results of the FBI report. We just hope that it goes smoothly so that we can get our completed homestudy so that we can send everything in to the agency & get going on our profile book. All part of the process of waiting & having patience. I keep saying I just want to be on their list so we can have our profile shown! Hopefully soon!