Weary

I think that best describes how we feel right now. Today is the due date & no word of the baby making an appearance anymore. It's exhausting to have everyday for the last 2+ weeks to be ready to leave at a moments notice. Constantly keeping everything in order & doing laundry at the late hours of the night just to make sure everything is clean "just in case". I know Miss A is also sick of this. 10 days ago she had thought she was in labor so we surely thought by now that the baby would be here.  I know this is repeating every post I've had lately but this is one of the 1st days that I've felt completely drained from trying to keep it all together & be positive. I'm sick of being such an outsider, not knowing how things are going or when the doctors will step in & get things started. I'm worried about how what we will do if we aren't back for the date of Wyatt's surgery & if we will need to reschedule it & when we would possibly do it. I know, it's worry & we are told not to do that but it's human nature. Yeah, the whole God's timing is perfect thing is too hard to grasp when we are on this side of things. I'll jump on that band wagon after the fact, okay?? But for right now, it bites! Yes, this is a pity party for now.

I also have to add a little disclaimer that I know so many of you in the adoption world have waited much, much longer and having this feeling & this intense wait makes me more & more convinced of God's grace on those families. I will not only be praying that our wait is done soon but I will also be on my knees to be praying for those who have been enduring this wait much longer than us. My heart aches for you! It really does & it makes me feel guilty for having these feelings when we've only been at this for as long as we have.

So, I ask you for continued prayers. Prayers for strength to keep going & prayers for peace. I have a very restless feeling & I hate that when I know that God is with me always & He is working all things for good.