The Countdown

The countdown is on to the arrival of the new baby. There is less than a month to go before Miss A's due date. I really can't believe it. The other crazy thing is that if she delivers like she did her previous child, we have just 2 weeks! Yeah, if I think hard enough, I totally have a panic attack! The reality of what can go wrong is always present but we are trying to remain optomistic that things will follow through. We know that as of now, she feels adoption best for this child. We just hope & pray that she continues to feel that way & that she puts this childs best interests first. We also know that if she chooses to parent, that is her right & even though we would be broken hearted, we know that there are other babies out there that need homes too.  We know that God will always know best & His ways are not always our ways. I hate to think of the pain & disappointment that we could be facing but we also know that the reward for remaining firm in our faith is a wonderful one. I just have to trust. There is no other way for me keep going that to just trust. So we continue to lean on Him in these remaining weeks & keep praying for Miss A & the baby she is carrying!

The "S" Word

I know it's not an official swear word but I declared it one in our house. It's white, it's cold & not wanted! Yep, I'm gonna officially swear on my blog but since it's my blog, I can do what I want! It's SNOW!!! Ugh! It's here & it's cold! I knew I should have never stated earlier how nice it had been because now it's just yucky outside! We've had colder temperatures & the wind has been blowing like mad! Wind advisorys & hearing the term "wind chill" just send me into a major funk! I need to remind myself of why we still live here! Any ideas?? Anyone??

Okay, to be honest, I don't really hate snow in itself. It's more the stuff that comes along with it. Cold, wind & shoveling. The last one doesn't really fully apply to me since I don't do it. Not unless my van is stuck or if the wheel suddenly comes off the pick-up while trying to get out of a snowbank(not that I would know what that would be like!) hehe!

So now to focus on the littlest, tiniest bit of good that can come from this kind of weather. Hmm, let me think! Oh! Got one! It's our fireplace! I miss listening to the crackling of the wood while sitting on my couch snuggled underneath a blanket. I never knew I would love it so much but I do. It's one of those things that can only be done with colder weather & that is something we do have here. Now let's just hope it doesn't decide to stay too long!

Prayers & Praises

We are just rolling along here! Not much to blog about really. Honestly, I've been too tired to think of anything good to blog about so here are just some things that we can either praise our God for or ask Him for His mercy.

Praise:
My sister Amy & her husband Phil were blessed with a son on Saturday morning! Kasen Bradley made his arrival a couple of weeks early at 8lbs 2oz & now joins his big brother Preston!! He is gorgeous & healthy! I could have held him all day! Hoping the transition to 2 children goes well!

Thankful that God spared the Unity Christian cheerleaders who were in an accident on Friday night! It could have been so much worse & we thank Him for His mercy! Hope that all involved are recovering!

Prayers:
Just keep Miss A in your prayers. We heard from our agency that when she met with the caseworker, they found out she has been through quite a bit of loss since we've been matched. We pray that she & her family feel God's comfort in this difficult time. We also know this is probably the reason that she has not been up to contacting us directly.

Prayers for a family I have "met" through the blog world who thought they would be taking their baby girl home soon & now it looks like that won't be happening. I know that even though we prepare ourselves for this possibility, it can't prepare you for it actually happening. We pray that God would be gracious in showing them the reason for having to go through what they have.

I know there are lots more that I could probably think of but this is just what comes to mind! I am in need of getting some good sleep because this week is crazy! The Christian school soup supper is this coming Friday & I am the chairperson for the food committee. It's been a lot of work but it really has gone well & I am looking forward to having Friday behind me.

No Contact

I will be honest & say that we have been disappointed in not having any more contact with Miss A since that 1st phone call. I guess we really didn't know what to expect but we had hoped that a few light conversations either by phone or email would help both parties. I'm not upset or mad with her because I don't know how I would feel in her shoes. I just had this idea in my head that a few conversations with her would make us real people to her & not just a profile book that she liked. She does have regular contact with the agency so at least she is getting the support from them. We just keep praying that things will keep moving along & that this next 5 weeks(maybe less) go fast!! Would you please join me in praying boldly for her? Pray for her peace of mind in her decision & pray for her well being!

What to Do When....

...not everyone agrees with your decision to adopt. This post probably should be a pleading for help from the veterans out there who know exactly what to say & do when this happens. But yes, we have faced it & probably have not handled it like we should. Not everyone agrees or understands this calling. Some people have distanced themselves from us. Some have been down right angry. Others, while maybe not understanding at first have asked questions to the point that they now understand why. We knew that when we began, we would encounter this. Why in the world would a couple with 4 children set out to adopt yet another? Don't we have enough on our plate? Isn't adoption just for those who can't have children or can't have anymore? Obviously,we disagree & so do many families who have adopted! There needs to be all types of families ready to step up but that doesn't mean it will always be easy. But how do you respond to those people that come right out & tell you that what you are doing is wrong? Well, you try to educate them. But as I have learned, most of the people that speak up in opposition, just can't grasp what it means to put yourself & your wants aside to do this. Honestly, at this point, I don't care & my skin is getting thicker & thicker with each day. I choose to follow my God & His calling on my life. Not what others want or expect of us. Sometimes that means that things can't remain the same with people that you know. We surely never set out to push people away but I guess once you make yourselves "different" & a "different looking" family, people won't always accept you. Unfortunately, it can be those that you thought were the closest to you. People who you thought would be in your corner no matter what & yet they disappoint you by telling you that this can't be worth it. Oh, but I can tell you even at this point, it is SOOO worth it. Even if this particular child doesn't end up in our arms, we have seen that the need for good homes for these children is so great that it blows my mind. They need love, they need stability & most importantly they need to know the love of Christ! Any amount of earthly sacrifice that we make is worth it to have a child of God know how much he/she is loved by our Savior. My biggest joy is already picturing me looking into our son/daughter's face & telling her/him was worth every tear, every hour worked, every paper filled out because God thinks he/she is worth it.


I have just started yet another Beth Moore Bible study & I'm on my first week of lessons. Needless to say, right after an encounter with hearing some negativity in regards to our adoption, this quote was written in the sidelines to the page I flipped open to & spoke directly to my heart!

"We must choose this day- and every day- whom we will serve."

Well, I choose my Lord! Enough said!

How to Save for an Adoption

I know that the financial aspect of adoption of a huge issue. So many people don't think they have the money or resources to complete an adoption so they don't even give more than a passing thought. It's a huge price tag. I'm not going to sugar coat. It's a lot of money. There are a lot of things we could do with that kind of money but we chose to give a child a home instead. So how does anyone get a good start on this? Well, many people have done many different things & how we have gotten to where we have isn't going to work for everyone.

Our process to save enough money was helped by the fact that we had gotten out of debt about 2 years ago. That doesn't mean that cash is always available. We just don't use credit cards or loans for anything but Brian's work account. So that requires being diligent about budgeting our monthly income. *I leave a clause here that I could still be better at this than what I am* We took a look at our monthly spending & tried to cut out everything that wasn't necessary. We cut our auto insurance as far as we could. We looked at our cable & phone & cut where we could there. We also took almost all of our tax return & put it towards getting started. We sent in 9 grant applications & were awarded 3 of them. We've done a tip night, rib suppers at our house, garage sale & our sponsorship project. We've put in whatever we can from month to month into our adoption fund. We have been blown away by everyone's generousity of helping out & we have never been afraid of hard work. If I look at how far we have come & what God has provided for us, I am so blown away. There is no way that I ever thought that we be as far as are. We have had to decide to not go out to eat or go to movies for a time period. Cooking at home & watching movies on Netflix is just as good for us! We have shopped at 2nd hand stores for the large portion of all of our clothing & only shopped sales for new clothing. We drive a vehicles that are on it's last leg but it still gets us from point A to point B & all our vehicles are completely paid for. That is our next saving project! I gave up the money I set aside for new furniture when we sold the sauna. But not for 1 second have we ever felt deprived or unblessed! In fact, it has never been more real to us that things don't ever make you happy. The more we've gotten rid of things & gotten rid of the excess in our lives, the more that contentment has set in. I honestly thought it would be the opposite.

So, these are the things that we have done. There are many, many other things that others have done to earn or raise money for their adoption that we have not & they are also great ideas. The point is, it can be done. It might not be easy & it may be alot of work but I can say that it will be so worth it. So very much worth it!

Can You Believe???

That it is already October 16?? I surely can't! October is half over now!! I am going to credit most of time flying to the gorgeous weather we've been having! Nothing helps more than to wake up & spend the day with the sun shining & the temperatures being as nice as they have been for Iowa. Last year, we had just moved into this house & it literally rained the entire month & we had 2 inches of snow that had come & gone by this point. I'll take a fall like this every year, you know if I can put in my order! I'm just hoping that time keeps going at this rate & that we are holding our baby soon! I have my inner battles of letting myself truly believe that this match will go through. Some days are good & God does a great job of calming my fears & others, Satan is really good at playing on my fears. The other day, I was having a break down moment & all of the sudden the most perfect song came on- "My Help Comes From the Lord" by The Museum. I've put it at the top of my playlist so you can listen to the words! I love that God can place these words in songs at just the right time!

A Couple of Great Posts

I came across a couple of awesome blog posts that deserve to be read. There is a need for people to step up & stop ignoring the crisis with orphaned children. We need to stop making excuses for why we can't & just do it. God requires it of us. So follow the links & be changed!

"do orphans need "saving"?  & "Adoption is Rescue"

Feeling the Pinch

We have been working hard to get all the forms & money in place so that all the parties involved have what they need to make sure that this placement goes smoothly. It hasn't been an easy process as some things have come up that we were not ready for. We thought we would have a little more time to gather the remaining money & that just isn't the case. We are scrambling to figure out what to do at this point. We have tried to think of a quick fundrasier to do but we don't really have any ideas nor the time to really put anything on. We have relied on God to get us to this point & we hope & pray that He provides the remainder of the funds that we need to bring our baby home. What a testimony of His goodness it would be to walk away with every penny of this adoption paid for!! We know He can do it but we also know that He might require us to be more creative, whatever that might be.

I hate worrying about money. I hate the love of money. I hate the want of more money. I hate our reliance on money to make us happy. I hate what money does to people(including me). I hate what emphasis our society puts on having, making & hoarding money. I hate that money can tear marriages & families apart. I hate that adoption costs so much money but it does & I need to get over it.

So if you would pray for us that things would fall into place financially & that God would allow us to find a way to come up with the rest of what we need. We know it's a small price to pay to give this child a loving home & we are taking a few steps back to look at the bigger picture!

Survival Mode

We've just been in survival mode here this past week. Brian left Tuesday night to go fishing in Canada with his dad,  brother, brother-in-law, cousin & a friend. The kids were off of school Thursday & Friday. I had to work my normal hours & still keep things under control. So that often throws me into survival mode. Doing only what is necessary at that moment so things don't fall apart. Luckily, I had a couple of great helpers in my girls who stepped in to help out. Things really did go well but I am glad to have Brian home to help ease the stress of single parenting. This week should be much better with him being home a lot more so we will just take it while we can. The weather has been gorgeous here & we keep commenting how fast time is going. I'll credit that to the nice weather. It makes winter seem so much more bearable when we don't have it near as long. We know that winter is just around the corner & that makes me cringe. I really don't mind snow but only for about 2 days & then I'm sick of it. But we'll hold on to the 65-70 degree temps for as long as we can! Now to only get the sun to stay out longer!

A Day at a Time

We just keep inching ever so closely. Nothing much has really gone on. We still haven't had a chance to talk with Miss A again & we haven't gotten to set up a time to visit. We know she's talked with the caseworkers though so at least she is still in contact with them. We've just been filling out some paperwork & getting some details ready. In a couple weeks, we will have a few more things to get ready. So for right now, we just have to sit back & wait. Sounds familiar, huh?

I can honestly say that some fears & doubts have crept in from time to time that haven't let me fully believe that we will be taking this baby home. Nothing has happened to make me think otherwise but I hear all the stories of birth moms changing their minds & you start to wonder if that will be the case here. We know it's a real possibility but how do you get past that fear & build a trusting relationship with someone (that if you are honest) you don't trust? We have been praying for Miss A & this baby & we already have hopes & dreams for this to work out. We know that it may not end up that way. But as Brian & I have learned from going through the loss of our son, we aren't in control. We never were. We may not be able to fully trust Miss A yet because we don't know her but we do fully trust God so that just has to trump any fears & doubts that we have as humans. Trust in God will always take over for our mistrust in people. It has to. People in our lives will let us down but God never will. So I ask for your prayers to help me remain calm & to get rid of my tunnel vision during the remainder of this waiting period.

Seeing the ENT

We had a follow up for Wyatt with his ears today. A while back, I had to have all 3 kids in to the doctor because they couldn't seem to kick the nasty cold they had for almost 3 weeks. Wyatt had double ear infection at that time. He finished all his medicine & 4 days later, he complained that his ears hurt again. I called in & they gave us another round of medicine but wanted to see him back after it was all gone. At his follow up today, his ears are still filled with fluid & are starting to get infected again. His hearing is also not very good with all this fluid. His tonsils are also huge so she said it was time to see the ENT soon. We've been down this road with Alexa before but considering all that we have going on, it really couldn't be worse timing. Depending on what the ENT doctor says, we might wait til after the baby is here since I will not be working so that I can be home with him. We have an appointment on October 19 so we'll see what happens from there. We just really want him to feel better so we know that if getting his tonsils & adnoids out & having tubes put in is what will do that, then we will do that!

What's Next

As we have now gotten to this point of now being chosen, I guess we need to focus on what's next. Right now, we are still filling out forms & contracts & getting things together on the financial side. Our agency is starting to get stuff ready for the hopeful time of placement & what they need for the ICPC(Interstate Compact) so that when the time comes, we are able to take our child home across state lines. We also will be working on setting up a time to go meet Miss A in person before delivery. Her due date is toward the end of November so we hope to have some time to do this. We know this must be a hard time for her & we hope that meeting us in person will give her a better idea who we are. We also hope that we can gain as much info from each other so that we may be able to pass that info on to our child in the future. This is a great time for us to get to know each other a little.

We also are working on getting the last bit of work done on Mary's house. Brian worked there on Saturday for a bit & just has a couple of things to finish up. My mother-in-law & I are going there on Tuesday to paint the garage. Hoping we can get that done! I will put the address of our church for those still wanting to donate money to this sponsorship project. We have a short amount of time to come up with the remainder of the money & we pray that God will provide what we need.

Bethel Christian Reformed Church
341 South Main Ave.
Sioux Center, IA 51250

Wyatt's Birthday Party

Yes, his birthday was last week but we seriously had too much going on to think about doing a party with his friends. So we decided to let him have about 4 friends overnight last night. It went very well & we even overheard some telling Wyatt as they were laying down for the night that "this was the best party ever". Yeah, we chuckled! Probably because 3 out of the 4 boys had never slept over at a friends house so I guess we didn't have the bar set too high for us. They were picked up from school & came directly to our house. Brian had them start a game of football. Then it was time for snacks & they just played in the basement until I got home. Yes people! Brian did this all by himself for 2 hours until I got home! Father of the Year Award yet again! Then we had tacos for supper. We soon found out that we needed to let them go run so we decided to go to the park for a while. We then came home, opened presents & had root beer floats. About 9:30, they got all their sleeping bags ready & watched a movie. By 11:30, they were all asleep! Breakfast this morning & some play time & got them loaded up into the van around 10:30 to head home. We had a great time with these boys & we are glad that Wyatt now had a great memory of his 7th birthday!